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April 11, 2012
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Blablablah

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 11, 2012, 11:32 PM


VoltageX by Trotsworth

Just a pointless journal of pointlessness

:thumb283792684:
My amazing boyfriend :iconjib228:

CSS by Earldense
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:iconrayne-feather:
Rayne-Feather Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconblueheartplz:
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:iconriygan:
Riygan Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconsquidplz:
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:icon32zeromaverick:
Are you alright? after what happened?
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:iconvoltage-x:
Voltage-X Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Really stressed out. I read a few of the comments people left on his journal and he is convinced that I don't give a shit about him. For starters though why should I, he is my ex. And I don't wish any harm to him or anything. I want him to live a happy life WITH SOMEONE ELSE. I don't care if he gets rich or becomes successful, good for him. I'd be happy someone in this world made it good. I just want him as far away from me as possible. I don't want to be in the same state as him.

He keeps saying I ruined his life, he had me backed up into a corner our entire relationship. It isn't that I didn't care about him it is that I wanted to get away from him but he wouldn't let me. All the times I tried to break up with him there he'd be at my doorstep. Eventually even people who were say kidnapped become brainwashed and start to love their kidnapper. I tried to make the best of it, I tried to make him happy. But when he fights with you about every little thing and then says my point is invalid when I try to put in my two cents for the shit he does.

I want to make it clear that he wasn't exactly abusive. Just very fucking controlling. He flaunts the fact that he likes guns and that his dad has a gun like he is going to use it some day. He has even said he wishes I was dead and he still hasn't gotten over it. He has sent me a text stating that he would kill me himself but death is too good for me.
His idea of me putting him through hell was me being relieved when he found someone else or being upset that he chose his best friend over me when he tried to cut my best friend from my life when he suspected I cared more about her.
I don't even care what happened anymore though, I just want him to forget I even exist and leave me alone, I don't ever ever ever want to see him again I just want it stop stop, I don't want to be scared anymore.
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:icon32zeromaverick:
My...my..god...
*Think 32Zero think think!!!*
Im trying to help ya as best as I can so
is there anything I can do?
Does your boyfriend know about this?
Reply
:iconvoltage-x:
Voltage-X Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I haven't really told Jib much about this. He is sick right now and I don't think he needs the stress. Besides Jeff lives here and Jib lives in a different state
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:icon32zeromaverick:
Still...how can I help?
Ill do anything!
And what happened between you and Jeff anyways?
Reply
:iconvoltage-x:
Voltage-X Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Basically we didn't get a long and broke up. He was very verbally abusive so I avoided him as much as I could because every time I tried to break up with him he showed up on my doorstep
I wasn't without fault, sometimes I'd inadvertently invoke a fight but he wouldn't let it go. So I'd curl up and cry all night. I was MISERABLE with him, but it wasn't like the worst possible thing he could have done.
I just want to avoid him. I freaked out for a moment there cause I thought he was actually going to come after me but I don't think he will. He himself is too much of a coward. It doesn't stop the adrenaline rush though whenever I see a ford explorer or when I see someone who look like him though x_x
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:icon32zeromaverick:
Ok I can understand that some guys act out but not like this!
Im still thinking of a way to help you though and dont worry.
Stay calm.
Reply
:iconrenee-moonveil:
Renee-Moonveil Apr 11, 2012  Student Digital Artist
you want someone to talk to?
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